What You Can Control


Elements that you can control to keep yourself safe and to avoid violence:

1. Lifestyle choices: seek to make good choices in life that work collectively toward your safety. Consider such things as the following:

  • Regular exercise to remain healthy and strong.
  • Projecting a confident and capable demeanor (usually enhanced by regular exercise).
  • Eating healthy foods and seeing the doctor regularly.
  • Choosing good friends who are wholesome, moral, and engage in safe activities.
  • Avoiding people who are quarrelsome, arrogant, and confrontational. 
  • Avoiding criminal behavior or hanging out with people who are criminals. 
  • Avoiding dangerous areas or establishments with known violence or criminal elements.
  • Avoid provocative dress and overly flirtatious behavior.
  • Note: this is not blaming the victim! You have control over your own lifestyle choices and you can choose to live safely and to avoid violence in your life.  

2. Attitude:

  • Keep a positive, confident, and caring/loving attitude.
  • Be pleasant toward others so as to invite kindness in return.
  • Be tolerant and open-minded toward other people.
  • Discuss controversial issues and ideas only with people who are willing to engage in meaningful discussion.
  • Remember, you do not always have to win a discussion; sometimes we must agree to disagree.
  • You cannot and should not control other people’s lives: let people live their own lives without unnecessary interference from you. 
  • When tempers flare or tensions rise, be humble and de-escalate the situation. 
  • Be the bigger person and choose NOT to fight and to seek peace, even if that means being humiliated or called names. 
  • Live peacefully and harmoniously with those around you. 
  • Remember that other people may be relying on you (especially of you are a father, mother, or caregiver), and so you cannot live selfishly for yourself only. Your actions will affect others, so avoid conflict, violence, and fighting at all cost.

3. Awareness:

  • You do not need to be paranoid or on hyper ninja alert, but do not be willfully oblivious to your surroundings.
  • You can control what you pay attention to and what you ignore.
  • Avoid being oblivious to your surroundings
    • Avoid texting while walking around.
    • Do NOT text and drive.
    • Avoid tuning out in public places with headphones and loud music. 
    • Avoid walking and/or jogging in public with headphones and loud music.
  • Be actively aware of what is going on around you.
  • Stay alert and constantly look around and take notice.
  • Enjoy the beautiful, interesting things.
  • Be alert to and cautious of anything that seems out of the ordinary or suspicious
  • Take appropriate evasive action sooner rather than later:
    • Walk around groups of rowdy people.
    • Avoid dangerous situations.
    • Do not engage in conversation with strangers.
    • Be aware of scams and how one person may be a distraction for the other person who is planning the attack.
  • If you are reading or using your smartphone in a public place (train, bus, park, etc.), be sure to lift your head up occasionally and take a look around you to see what is going on.